Red Sky Black Clouds
by flyingsnails
Summary: A Reasonably insignificant object goes missing, a note is left behind. Some guy in cave wants to get out. When these two completly unrelated events start to entwine the only thing the world can be sure of is chaos... CRACK
1. prologue

**AN: Err right, I know this is bad but it does get better, I think. So read on and enjoy. Sorry abput the grammer, I know it will be awful. I can't remember how to use it properly...**

**I have written the first chapter, but it's still in rough form so I need to go over it. So that should be up soon if anyone actually cares.**

_Somewhere in an unidentified location far, far away…_

Darkness, it was his everything. Was there anything else? If there was, what was it like? Were there other beings? Or was he just a mutation, doomed to stare into nothing for all eternity? But no, he couldn't allow himself to think like that. He _was_ waiting for something. There _was_ something out there, something that he had to hide from.

Sharp splinters of light scraped down from above him and suddenly he wasn't the only one anymore. Suddenly he realised why he was trapped here and what he had to do to stop himself from becoming the only one again.

'Sir, the preparations are complete. All we have to do now is…'

'I am well aware of what needs doing. Now shut the door and come in it's been far too long since I've had company'

'Umm Sir, where are you? It's err…kinda dark'

'Stop complaining and tell me about the world'

'Umm… well it's changed alot…'

'Your hopeless, just tell me whether or not I'll be able to return soon'

'Umm, I guess so… Do you want me to send them to the…'

'Just make sure they receive it, If anything goes wrong I'll have your head.'

'Yes sir! Umm…I guess I'll be leaving now…Bye…I guess…Ouch...stupid stone.'

'Be careful young one! Things are about to get very entertaining'

_A few days later in a garden shed not so very far away…_

'I've just received notice that the last one is in place'

'That's great, so I'll do it tonight then?'

'Unless you want me to do it'

'Che, who do you think I am? Of course I'll do it'

'Good. It seems that we can finally give them what they deserve.'

'Damn it, someone's coming'

And with that the two figures dived under a large object and prayed that whoever it was wouldn't notice the two sets of white eyes glowing out from underneath it.

**Review PLEEEEEAAASSSSSSSEEEE!!**


	2. Disaster strikes

**AN: So, here it is the first chapter. I edit myself so sorry in advance for the spelling/grammer errors i know there will be. Read and enjoy.**

**Disclamer: Absolutly no-one on this site own Naruto, so if someone would just realise this maybe people would stop having to make up long and annoying sentances to put at the top of their fics...**

It was a perfect day, the sun was shining, birds were singing, black flashes hurried towards the tower where a blond Hokage had actually managed to finish all of last nights paperwork before falling into a Sake induced slumber, even the **Keep of the roofs** signs had managed to survive their nightly battle against certain disagreeable members of ANBU…

'NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO'

Of course, Konoha being a ninja village, this idyllic delusion couldn't last all day; in fact it managing to last past sunrise was a miracle in itself. Naturally the citizens of Leaf took this to be a good omen, so ignored the distressed cries and carried on with the daily tasks involved with living.

-x-

It was quite simply the end of the world. If he could summon enough strength in his dying limbs to open the blinds, it would not have been a surprise to discover that the sun had been removed from the sky. His pain was so great that even the plight of the human race could not bother him. Burial alive sounded like a good idea. He would go down to the market, buy a big wooden box, stick it in a big hole, then use some big exploding tags to make it all cave in. After all, how could he ever face the world after what had been done to him.

Realising that big wooden boxes cost money, his body vaguely remembered that it had to be somewhere so after a grabbing a big black cloak, he stumbled clumsily out the door.

-x-

Kakashi had always considered himself a calm person, one that would always calculate every possibility before letting fear take over. So why was it that as he walked across the bridge did his muscles clench? Why did he shut his eyes and reach a hand down to his Kunai pouch as if waiting for an attack?

That was it!

He _was_ waiting for an attack, one which would not come. No, that was a stupid idea of course it would come. Any second now a pink, yellow and orange blur would descend cursing him and his chronic lack of timekeeping, and he would throw it off effortlessly, as he always did. Any second now…

…

There would be a logical explanation for this, there had to be. Every morning two of his students would attempt to hurt him, every morning without fail. So why didn't they now?

Preparing for the worst, he slowly opened his eyes and was almost surprised to see a raven haired Genin intensely scanning a dark blue magazine, and a pink kunochi flicking her hair and pushing her 'chest' out towards him.

He almost sighed with relief, nothing abnormal there. He scolded himself for being so paranoid, of course there was nothing wrong. He didn't need to be ambushed everyday.

Flicking his eyes to the left he expected to see an orange clad ninja eagerly waiting to hear about their next mission or the latest training exercise. When no such orange ninja appeared he felt an unfamiliar sensation lift its hands up around his neck.

Now starting to show visible signs of panic he scanned the whole area before settling on a hooded figure slumped in the deepest, darkest corner of the bridge; misery rolling of the figure so intensely that it was distorting the air surrounding him.

-x-

'Yo, sorry I'm late but I had to help a dead dog with its shopping'

'Hn…Your lack of discipline is affecting my training. By constantly being late you have already caused me lose approximately 4 months, 15 days, 6 hour…'

'_Yeah_, that's right Sasuke you tell him!!'

'…48 point 3 seconds of valuable time. Now according to the latest edition of Ninja Weekly I should be learning…

'Err… Do either of you know what happened to Naruto?'

'Ugh, Kakashi-sensei who cares about that, Sasuke's talking'

'… Spending 3 hours a day improving my upper body strength…'

'And I'm sure what he is saying is very important, but I would really like to know why Naruto…'

'…_An_ hour sharpening my weapons…'

'Sensei, seriously he just ran out of ramen or something'

'…4 and a half hours going over the Jutsu I already know…'

'Sakura, have you seen him? It's something slightly more serious than that'

'…6 hours working on chakra control…'

'Ha… he's got withdrawal symptoms. 'cuz It's all he ever eats'

'…30 minuets exercising the muscles in my fingers…

'Sakura, you've been absolutely no help. Sasuke, do you have any idea what happened to Naruto?'

'…and finally I should be getting no less than 3 hours sleep.'

'_Sasuke_!'

'No I do not have any idea what happened to Naruto. Now, I appreciate that there are other members on this team but I strongly believe…'

-x-

Tuning out of Sasuke's monologue Sakura turned to face the quivering mass of cloak that was formerly known as Naruto.

_You know maybe there is something wrong with him after all. I've never seen him like this before…_

**Cha! Who cares? Now turn back to Sasuke so I can listen to his wonderful silky voice.**

_Ugh, honestly you're so insensitive_

**Yes, I know. Now listen to the pretty little voice…**

Ignoring the protests of her inner self, Sakura edged over towards the deep dark corner in which Kakashi was attempting to force some sense out of his blond student.

He was kneeling down beside Naruto with a hand rested awkwardly on his shoulder. It briefly crossed her mind that she should go in for moral support but, unfortunately for the Jonin, her inner self thought it much more amusing watching him squirm. She reluctantly agreed.

Edging even closer, she strained her senses to understand what he was blubbering about; something about overwhelming pain and the sun falling from the sky. She felt like hitting him. Why couldn't he just tell them what was wrong?

Sakura didn't want to know about what he was feeling, that just wasn't interesting, she wanted to know what caused it, she wanted to be the one to tell the stories, she wanted to see the look on Ino's face when her tale of pain, suffering and heroic bravery upstaged another one her pathetic rumors.

She almost let out an evil laugh as she realised just exactly what was troubling her team mate…It had to be an unrequited love!!

She was so absorbed by the possibilities that she almost didn't hear when he screamed out, releasing the knowledge she so craved.

She had no option but to faint, so awful was his predicament.

His _trousers_ had been stolen

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**AN: They are trousers not pants, I am brittish please respect that and don't complain.**

**This is the part where i beg for reveiws...**


	3. A Twist?

**AN: Here it is, for all those silent people who I know are following this fic. You do exist really. I'm sure you do... Anyway, sorry again for bad grammer, spelling and god knows what else. I edit myself. It's probably obvious really...**

**Disclaimer: Does it look like I can draw...**

* * *

After a few minuets of attempted consolation, violent punches and a recommendation to purchase a pair of standard plus ninja wear trousers (now with waterproofing and extra pockets), team 7 finally pulled it's self together and headed off towards the Hokage tower to report this heinous crime.

-x-

Silently Tsunade was pleased with herself, she'd finished all of last nights paper work and had only managed to drool on a couple sheets in the night. Match this up with the lack of disaster and the beautiful summer weather then you get one very happy Hokage.

Of course, Konoha being a ninja village, this idyllic delusion couldn't last all day; in fact it managing to last past sunrise was a miracle in itself. So when her door burst open to reveal a rather distraught looking team 7 she merely thought it was a bad omen that they had taken them so long to reach her.

Sighing, she pulled herself together and prepared for the inevitably draining task of dealing with her 'favourite' team.

-x-

'WHO THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU ARE?? WHAT RIGHT DO YOU HAVE TO BURST IN HERE AT THIS GODFORSAKEN HOUR AND INTERRUPT MY BUISSNESS!! ?'

'Lady Tsunade, we've come to report a…umm…_crime._'

'Well spill it then, I haven't got all day'

'The, reason why my team has burst in here at, I quote, 'this godforsaken hour is simply because Naruto has lost his trousers. Now I suggested that he bought…'

'So…your saying that you have burst in here, without making an appointment, to tell me that a member of your team is without a pair trousers?'

…

'GO BOTHER THE PEOPLE AT THE SUPPLY OUTLET'

'Umm, Shishou that not the umm…full story, you see whoever stole his…trousers left behind a note... it was umm…vague but it seemed to be telling him to go to the cavity behind Hokage mountain'

'WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME THIS BEFORE?? This changes everything. We know that akatsuki are after Naruto but this seems a bit…well…not their style. But I will not allow any risks to be taken. I want you to gather together any available shinobi and meet back here in half an hour so I can give you final orders. Naruto, give me the note so I can send it of to the lab for analysis.'

And with that the four ninja leaped out the window or rather through the window in the case of our favourite blond ninja. Tsunade had already decided that her day was doomed, so decided to forget all about Shizune and pulled out a fresh bottle of sake.

-x-

_Underground in some very unidentifiable location…_

Leader was excited. His subordinates were scared. So much so that there was none of the normal banter, something which to many akatsuki members wasn't such a bad thing after all. They soon changed their minds when they heard him speak.

hat could be so frightening as to scare the members of the biggest, baddest, criminal organisation since the inventors of sliced bread, you might ask? Well, that's simple really; their leader was speaking with _emotion_ in his voice…

'I've gathered you all here today as I have received information which may help us reach our goal sooner than we could have ever expected.'

'I have received notice of a scroll. You may be asking why we, the akatsuki, would be going after something as insignificant as a scroll. Well this is no ordinary scroll. This scroll contains the secrets of the demon god and it is said that anyone who is able to master these secret techniques will be able to obtain ultimate power and that even the gods themselves will bow down to its wielder.'

'This should be absolutely no problem for us, the biggest, baddest criminal organisation since the inventors of sliced bread. You are dismissed. Kisame, Itachi and Deidara stay behind, please.'

-x-

_Somewhere in a very secretive and anonymous village…_

Naruto was lost. Of course he wasn't physically lost, he was in Konoha how could he lose himself in his home town? He was lost in the vast meadows of nothing, the vast abyss of pain, the…well anyway you picture.

Now, an observant reader might be wondering why such a strong, brave man (cough…cough) as Naruto, would be so distraught by the loss of such a seemingly insignificant object as a pair of trousers. Well that's simple really, but you'll have to put up with an exceptionally annoying and disruptive flashback to find out.

_An exceptionally annoying and disruptive, although thankfully vaguely relevant flashback…_

'Get out! We'll not serve the likes of you here.'

'Yeah!'

'Demon spawn!'

'Stay away from my wife!!'

'Get _away _from me!'

CRASH

'Look what you've done now. How will I ever pay for the damages?!'

'S...s…sorry'

'I can't understand why he wasn't killed as soon as he was _created_'

It had been like this for as long as the child could remember. Everyone hated him. He didn't know why so all he could do was apologise for whatever bad thing he he'd done.

He didn't normally go out, unless he had to go to the academy. He liked going to the academy. Not all the children hated him there. The only reason he was out today was because the Uchiha bastard had _accidentally _ripped his trousers during kunai practice last week.

He didn't normally go shopping either; all the shopkeepers were always really nasty to him. The last time he had to buy some clothes the shopkeeper gave him this _really _expensive jacket that he was really pleased with, until he got home and put it on. It was way too small and lodes of holes in it. Luckily the Old Man saw this and went back and got him a nice orange one. Orange was his favourite colour.

Pulling himself up off the ground he decided that he should run now. The shop owners obviously weren't going to sell him something in this part of town.

They were chasing him again. They thought it was his fault that the stall was broken. It wasn't though. Some idiot had pushed him into it. And it had hurt! Thinking quickly he decided to pull into an ally and hope that they would pass without noticing him.

Luck seemed to be on his side today. They did pass and a couple seconds later he could hear their cries of disappointment. Thinking that the danger was over he collapsed against the wall, panting. He'd been chased a long way.

Unfortunately it seemed that he had not lost all his pursuers for, as soon as he had started thinking he was safe, a silhouette appeared at the entrance to the ally.

'Heh… there you are. I've been lookin' all over for ya. Betcha wondrin' why I'm ere, right? Well, me father's the one that kicked ya out, right. An' I fink it awful how they treat ya, right. So, I was finkin' that ya'd still need some trousers, right. So, I gotcha some, right.'

'W…what? W…why?'

'Well, it's not like I'm gonna get into shit or anythin'. Cuz we were just gonna chuck 'em anyways. You sh'd get out o' ere quick, right. Cuz it ain't gonna take 'em that long to work out where ya got to, yeah.'

'Umm…thanks'

'Now quick, run. I'll lead em off, right.'

'No you won't. I'll ignore what I've just heard and pretend that you were just about to hand him over. 'Cuz I'm a nice guy really.'

'What… NO! I won't let you hurt him!!'

'Well that's a pity, ain't it boys'

'Yeah, that's right boss. Cuz now we'll have to kill him too won' we?'

'NO! Don't hurt him. K…kill me instead. No… I mean I don't even know him. He really was about to turn me into you.'

'Well, guess what kid? I don' believe 'ya. Heh…kill him he's worthless. I'm saving my blade for the demon.'

'NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!'

_End irritatingly disruptive, although vaguely relevant, flashback…_

...

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**Well that's the end. If anyone actually made it there.**

**If you did it would be polite to tell me in something like...I dunno... a REVIEW. **

**PLEEEEEEEAAAAASSSEEEEEEE**


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